We all face a constant barrage of challenges, responsibilities, and opportunities, each clamoring for our attention and energy. But amidst this chaos, how do we determine what truly deserves our energy? It often boils down to a tug of war between our salience and volition networks.
Our priorities often reflect the stories we tell ourselves, and sometimes those stories lead us down paths that aren’t aligned with our true desires. We may find ourselves dedicating significant time and effort to pursuits that don’t truly enrich our lives while neglecting the things that bring us genuine fulfillment. This imbalance can occur when we haven’t taken the time to reassess our life direction or when we take our given or chosen path too seriously, without allowing room for introspection or course correction. As we navigate these entrenched patterns, it’s common to experience a range of strong emotions, such as sadness, fear, guilt, and anger. These emotions can leave us feeling stuck and out of control, prompting actions that ultimately lead to burnout and disappointment.
Picture this: You have complete autonomy over your actions and a crystal-clear vision of the person you aspire to become and the experiences you wish to cultivate. What would you prioritize? Think back to that vision you crafted of your future self. That version of you and the dreams you want to fulfill hold the key to guiding your decisions. It’s like having a compass point you in the direction of your deepest desires and values. When faced with competing demands, consulting this inner compass can help you discern which path aligns most closely with who you want to be.
Remember, you work in the present toward a future that you want!
You have a crucial presentation at work coming up, and your boss has asked you to deliver it. However, your partner’s birthday is the day before, your college reunion is on the same day as the presentation, and the final of the football World Cup is also scheduled for that day. What should you prioritize?
The answer to this depends on who you’d like to be!
If you are someone who prioritizes work over everything else,
Prioritize the presentation first. Prepare thoroughly to ensure you perform well. Balance celebrating your partner’s birthday by keeping it low-key so you can stay focused. Attend the college reunion after the presentation and, if time permits, catch the football World Cup final. Communicate clearly and politely with all the stakeholders and do what you can. You’ll feel satisfied that you acted in a manner that aligns with who you’d like to be, despite feeling disappointed that you had to miss other things that add value to your life.
If your job was only a means to an end,
Communicate transparently with your boss about your plans and your imminent departure. Delegate the presentation to a capable colleague. Prioritize your partner’s birthday, attend the college reunion, and enjoy the football World Cup final without the burden of work responsibilities. Again, you will be satisfied that you are spending time doing the things that add most value to you.
And if you were the example person from the direction section,
Prioritize your crucial work presentation while expressing your love and appreciation for your partner with a thoughtful celebration. Communicate openly with your college friends about your availability for the reunion, and catch up on the football World Cup final at your leisure. Remember to take care of yourself amidst the busyness by staying fed, hydrated, and present. Delegate what you can’t do. Your ability to handle challenges with kindness and responsibility will guide you smoothly through this overlapping period.
All these responses are great, as long as they leave the person performing them feeling a little more confident about who they are. At the end of the day, we want to make decisions and perform actions that add value to our lives.
A few important things to fine tune priorities
Survive first. Your primary objective should always be to ensure your survival and that of your loved ones. This includes securing the basic necessities like food, clothing, and safety to a level you deem essential for existence. This could mean holding on to a job, completing a degree, or anything else that you do to survive! This is not a hard and fast rule though.
The whole picture:You’re at work, known for your reliability and dependability. But have you ever stopped to wonder if that means you have to sacrifice everything else? It’s a dilemma that many of us, especially the younger generation, wrestle with.
There’s this idea floating around that if we excel in one area of our lives, we have to neglect everything else. It’s like we’ve been taught that success in one realm will automatically fix everything else, right? But let’s be real; life isn’t that simple.
Think about it for a moment: When we’re constantly chasing validation through achievements, we might miss out on all the other amazing things life has to offer. It’s like wearing blinders that keep us focused on one thing while everything else passes us by.
But what if we took off those blinders? What if we embraced the complexity of our lives and all the different ways we can find success and fulfillment? Because, let’s face it, success isn’t just about climbing the career ladder or making tons of money. It’s about finding joy in our relationships, pursuing our passions, and taking care of ourselves. So, let’s shift our perspective a bit. Let’s stop chasing this narrow definition of success and start embracing the richness and diversity of our experiences. Because at the end of the day, most of us are doing way better than we give ourselves credit for.
Feasible is always better than extreme:Imagine you’re juggling multiple tasks all at once. Sound familiar? It’s a scenario many of us find ourselves in from time to time. But here’s the thing: when faced with this situation, it’s often more practical to prioritize what’s manageable over what’s perfect. Instead of aiming for the ideal outcome, focus on what you can realistically accomplish while staying true to your values and aspirations. Sure, there will be tasks where you excel and others where you fall short. And that’s okay.
At the end of the day, it’s not about meeting some arbitrary standard of perfection. It’s about staying true to yourself and doing what you can with what you have.
There’s this misconception that striving for excellence automatically leads to success. But in reality, there’s no direct correlation between the two. Doing your best doesn’t guarantee flawless results every time. Recognizing that you are doing your best, on the other hand, promises satisfaction and fulfillment, irrespective of the outcome!
It’s going to be uncomfortable:When you start prioritizing your own needs and desires, especially after years of putting others first, it can feel pretty daunting. The fear of stepping into this new territory is completely normal. You’re essentially rewriting the script of your life, and that’s no small feat. But here’s the thing: when you feel that fear creeping in, you have a choice. You can either confront it head-on and move closer to the life you truly want, or you can push it aside and deal with it later. The latter option might seem easier at the moment, but it comes with a cost. See, many of us fall into the trap of postponing discomfort. We tell ourselves that we’ll address our needs and desires when the time is right, when things settle down, and when we have more time or resources. But here’s the harsh truth: that time may never come. The longer we delay prioritizing ourselves, the further we drift from the person we aspire to be. We lose sight of our dreams and aspirations amidst the busyness of life, until one day we wake up and wonder how we ended up so far off course.
So, yes, facing that initial discomfort is scary. But it’s also liberating. It’s the first step towards reclaiming your life and aligning your actions with your values. And trust me, the journey is worth every ounce of fear you feel along the way.
It’s easy to fall into a loop of avoidance.
When your to-do list seems never-ending, it’s tempting to dodge the tough tasks in favor of temporary relief. Take, for instance, that looming work presentation. Instead of diving in, you might justify delaying it by focusing on your wife’s upcoming birthday plans. It feels like you’re being a thoughtful partner, but deep down, you’re just sidestepping the discomfort of facing your professional responsibilities.
Fast forward to when your wife suggests a romantic night out, and suddenly, you’re citing work commitments as the reason to stay in. This pattern of avoidance may seem harmless in the moment, but over time, it chips away at your sense of self. Each time you opt for comfort over confronting challenges, you’re essentially choosing stagnation over growth. It’s crucial to recognize when avoidance becomes a habit and start addressing the underlying fears or discomforts driving it. Sure, seeking comfort is natural, but when it becomes a default response, it hinders personal development and can lead to resentment and frustration.
Ultimately, prioritizing what truly matters to us leads to a more fulfilling and authentic life. By making decisions aligned with our future self, we not only enhance our own well-being but also set a positive example for those around us. Life is too short to be spent on pursuits that don’t enrich us, so let’s choose paths that bring us closer to the people we want to be and the lives we want to live.