The “comfort gap”
Humans are biologically wired to prioritize safety and familiarity in their behavior. However, we possess a strong curiosity in our thinking. Often, there is a significant gap between thinking and behaving, which is a mechanism our brains use to keep us safe. This creates a “comfort gap” between planning and doing, keeping us stuck in a cycle of planning to do but never doing. Very often, when we can’t afford to sit in the comfort zone, we get things done, often in huge amounts in little bits of time. Like the insane amount of work we do the night before a submission or an exam.
Two key neural networks are involved in this process: the Default Mode Network (DMN) and the Task-Positive Network (TPN). The DMN is active when we engage in daydreaming and planning, whereas the TPN is activated when we focus and perform tasks. The initial discomfort experienced during the transition from planning to action can be attributed to the DMN’s resistance to relinquishing the planning phase. By taking the first step towards action, we activate the TPN, thus moving into execution mode. This explanation is intentionally simplified for ease of understanding.
Why common methods fall short and why they aren’t in this book: While strategies like affirmations, rewards, punishments, and setting consequences can be helpful, they often address symptoms without tackling the root cause—the intolerance to the discomfort associated with initiating action. They work on the premise of increasing your motivation to get the work started, just like making detailed long-term plans, watching motivational videos, having accountability partners, and a whole bunch of other things. Even the stuff we discussed about direction and daily lists is utterly useless unless we learn to convert those lists into action.
Consider this: Making detailed plans can feel productive but often becomes a form of procrastination if not followed by action; seeking inspiration through motivational videos, affirmations, rewards, or quotes can uplift your mood momentarily but quickly fade without action; waiting for the right mood or perfect emotional state frequently leads to endless delays; punishment never works unless the punisher is around; relying on accountability partners can create dependency and hinder personal initiative; and using productivity apps and tools can help organize tasks but can’t force you to start. These methods are helpful in some ways, and you should use them, but you know what? If you always have to rely on motivation and comfort to start, you’re just not going to start too often! Several of these methods try to bypass the comfort gap, but the point is not to bypass it; it is to learn to cross it, one step at a time.
Common traps that maintain the comfort gap:
There are three common thinking traps that consume a lot of energy that could be better used to get started. Recognizing and overcoming these traps can help you move from planning to action more effectively. These are often your brain’s genius strategies that keep you safely stuck in a familiar place!
The timing Trap:
This trap involves convincing yourself that now isn’t the right time to start. You might think, “I am supposed to be prioritizing my project, but it’s too late today. Why don’t I start at 6:00 AM tomorrow? I would have had a good night’s sleep and can start fresh then.” This delay tactic only prolongs inaction and increases the mental burden of the pending task. Consider Priya, who often tells herself she’ll begin her new workout routine tomorrow morning. But when tomorrow comes, another excuse emerges. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment, Priya could start with a small action right now, like a five-minute stretch or a quick walk.
To beat the timing trap:
Anytime is a good time. Like investing in the stock market, if you are in it for the long term, start now! Don’t wait for the perfect moment; any moment is good enough to make a start.
The uncertainty trap:
In this trap, you’re unsure of the best way to begin or if you will succeed, leading to paralysis by analysis. You might wonder, “I want to do well in the upcoming conference. Where should I start? Should I research a lot, should I just start writing, should I talk to someone, or should I watch YouTube videos to learn?” The multitude of choices can overwhelm you, preventing you from taking any action at all. Imagine Rahul, who is preparing for a presentation at work. He’s so caught up in deciding whether to draft an outline, gather more data, or watch tutorials on public speaking that he ends up doing nothing.
To beat the uncertainty trap:
Start anywhere; you can’t succeed before you start. You cannot be prepared for everything, nor can you start everywhere. Begin anywhere, like playing Super Mario Bros.; the skills you learn in the easier levels are required to get to the harder levels. Each step forward prepares you for the next challenge.
The “I am not there yet” trap:
This trap is about feeling unprepared to even begin preparing. You might think, “Have you heard of the guy who went on a diet to prepare himself to go to the gym? Very often, we get stuck in the loop of having to be prepared in order to start preparing. My room isn’t clean enough, the weather isn’t good enough, etc.” These excuses create endless delays and keep you from making any progress.
Rani, a yoga instructor, used to delay setting up her online classes, feeling her space wasn’t perfect. She realized that waiting for perfect conditions meant never starting at all. She spent three years finding a studio and then a few months learning to use a camera and then lost interest and gave up !
To beat the “I am not there yet” trap:
You are there, start now: Guess what, you are already there. Start now, and you’ll figure it out along the way. There is a time for perfectionism and fine-tuning, but that’s usually not before you start a task. Begin with what you have and improve as you go.
Conquering the comfort gap
Effectively conquering the comfort gap extends beyond merely pushing through initial discomfort. It also entails capitalizing on fleeting moments when the brain exhibits a heightened receptivity to action. These transient windows present an opportunity to circumvent the brain’s natural resistance and initiate valuable, albeit uncomfortable, tasks. Very often these windows last only for a few seconds, you miss them and the next window may never come.
Identifying the opportune moment:
Our brain, surprisingly adept at subtle signaling, can offer hints regarding these opportune moments. This may manifest as a sudden surge of energy in the morning, a brief respite between scheduled meetings, or even a flash of inspiration. The key lies in cultivating awareness and recognizing these transient windows as invitations to take action. For instance, Priya, the marketing manager, identified a period of heightened creativity immediately following her lunch break. She strategically began utilizing this time to brainstorm ideas for her marketing campaign, leveraging this enhanced mental state to bridge the comfort gap with a brief burst of focused activity.
Reframing comfort as a navigational tool:
The initial discomfort experienced upon encountering these opportune moments is, in essence, the brain’s attempt to safeguard familiarity. However, rather than viewing it as an insurmountable obstacle, one should perceive it as a navigational detour sign. Acknowledge its presence, but recognize that the true destination—taking action—lies just beyond.
Embracing the micro-action:
Overcoming the discomfort does not necessitate a grand gesture. Taking a small, focused action that propels you forward is far more effective. This could entail dedicating two minutes to outlining the task at hand, typing in the recipient’s name in the email, or rolling out the bed. By undertaking a micro-action, you activate the brain’s task-positive network and signal your commitment to the task at hand.
“The task-positive network (TPN) is a network of brain regions that becomes active when you are focused on a specific task. It is involved in activities requiring attention, problem-solving, and goal-directed behavior. “
Momentum over perfection:
The objective is to initiate the process, not achieve immediate perfection. These micro-actions function as stepping stones, fostering momentum and facilitating continued progress on the task even after the initial discomfort subsides. The more frequently you seize these transient windows and undertake micro-actions, the easier it becomes to overcome the discomfort and bridge the comfort gap in the long term.
Reframe discomfort:
Acknowledge that the initial feeling of “ugh, I don’t want to do this” is completely normal and to be expected. It’s simply your brain’s way of clinging to your comfort zone. By accepting this as a natural response, you remove its power to derail your progress. Rani, a yoga instructor, used to struggle with the initial discomfort of setting up her online classes. She began acknowledging the feeling but continued to take little steps despite it. She recognized that every time she felt “blah,” this was her brain’s way of getting her to give up on something she wanted. This simple shift helped her push past the initial hurdle.
Remember, the key is to take that “tiny step forward.” It doesn’t have to be a giant leap. Start small, commit a manageable amount of time, and experience the satisfaction of accomplishment.
With consistent effort, the hold of the discomfort will gradually lessen, replaced by the confidence and momentum that come from taking action. So, the next time you find yourself at the precipice of a task, embrace the discomfort, take that first step, and conquer the comfort gap! And remember, it’s not about reducing the discomfort; it’s about keeping it from hijacking our lives!
As you get better at initiating tasks, your ability to plan and prioritize will also need a bit of fine-tuning. The last few chapters may have provided helpful insights on these aspects.
There is a fine line between being impulsive and being spontaneous. Neither is inherently wrong or bad, but our current focus is on building spontaneity. Impulsivity, on the other hand, is often innate—something you either have or don’t.
Spontaneous
Instead of sticking to her usual lunch routine, Priya decided to explore a new restaurant with a coworker. This spontaneous decision not only satisfied her love for trying new foods but also strengthened her social connections at work. This was an intentional action that was performed toward a certain value-adding outcome.
Impulsive
One afternoon, Rahul saw a tempting pastry in the break room and bought it without considering his healthy eating goals. While impulsive actions like this aren’t always harmful, they can sometimes divert you from your longer-term objectives.
We will discuss impulsivity a bit later.
Embracing Spontaneity and accepting failure
It’s important to remember that failure is okay, and screwing up is part of the process. The key is to take that first step.
Morning routines
Priya, a marketing executive in Mumbai, used to struggle with starting her day efficiently. She decided to make small, manageable changes. Each morning, she wakes up, stretches for a quick energy boost, and makes her bed. These small wins set the tone for her day.
Evening clean-Up
Rahul, a software engineer in Bangalore, often felt overwhelmed by household chores. To combat this, he made it a habit to wash the dishes immediately after dinner. This small act prevents a pile-up and keeps his kitchen clean, reducing his overall stress. Though he has been doing this for years, his brain still asks him to put it off. He’s learned to acknowledge it, smile, and still do what has to be done. He isn’t perfect, but that’s not where he wants to be as well.
Practicing spontaneity
On a day-to-day basis, watch for opportunities to get something done spontaneously. Watch the mental chatter, step away from it, and do the task anyway. Start small and make it your second nature.
S.E.I.Z.E. the opportunity !
- See the opportunity: Be open to unexpected possibilities.
- Embrace the moment: Don’t overthink, jump in!
- Ignore the fear: Don’t let fear hold you back.
- Zest for life: Embrace the joy of new experiences.
- Experience something new: Step outside your comfort zone!
Taking a Cold Shower:
- See the opportunity: Maybe it’s a hot day, or you have a chance to try a new invigorating routine.
- Embrace the moment: Instead of dreading the cold, view it as a quick energy boost.
- Ignore the fear: The initial shock might be uncomfortable, but it’s temporary.
- Zest for life: Feel the refreshing jolt and the potential health benefits.
- Experience something new: It could become a part of your regular routine!
Starting a Workout:
- See the opportunity: Maybe you have some unexpected free time or see a workout buddy.
- Embrace the moment: Don’t wait for the “perfect” time, just get moving.
- Ignore the fear: You might not feel completely prepared, but any movement is beneficial.
- Zest for life: Feel the endorphins kick in and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.
- Experience something new: Try a new exercise or class you’ve been curious about.