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The loss of a loved one tops the list in being one of life’s most stressful events. Coping with the loss of a loved one takes its toll on both body and mind. After a loss, one experiences bereavement, which translates to ” deprived by death.” A number of possible emotions can occur as a result of acute grief.
Anger, humiliation, disbelief and denial are normal and understandable reactions to loss. One may experience intense emotions and mood swings. Violent and unexpected deaths evoke the strongest of emotions. With time, as the restorative processes of grieving begins to help one reconcile the past and organize the world again, and one can gradually see beyond the loss and live life again !
Essential ways in which you can help someone who has lost a loved one.
Participate in rituals, attend the funeral. Memorial services, funerals, and other traditions are designed to help people remember and honor those who have passed on. Try to avoid forcing any rituals that the next of kin find uncomfortable.
This helps in two ways.
1) A funeral and ceremonies help one accept the loss, for a number of people with protracted or unresolved grief, acceptance itself becomes a major hurdle.
2) These rituals offer a lot of support to those suffering, and help reaffirming the fact that they are not going through this alone.
Let all emotions be expressed and released. In the first few days, all forms of emotional turmoil is to be expected. Let people mourn in any way that they feel appropriate. Crying, wailing and lamenting are common. Do not attempt to restrict those who are grieving unless they pose a risk of harm to themselves or others.
Trust their coping skills, most people cope really well, when given the time and space. Always check in on them regularly, do they need any help ? Are they eating enough ?
Talk and listen. Once the initial storm is done, most people cannot stop talking about the one who has passed on. Encourage this, listen with empathy. Remember that they want someone to hear them out, they are not asking for solutions.
Help them cherish. In less communicative people, suggest other ways to express their feelings, maintaining a journal, writing a blog, writing tributes/poems or making a photo album are some examples. Planting a tree in memory of those who have passed is also a great idea.
Anyone who has lost a friend, family member or pet will know that as the days turn to months, yearning will be healed by cherishing.
Get Help ! Sometimes grieving can become pathological when one’s coping mechanisms are ineffective or inadequate. Please do not hesitate in seeking help from a qualified mental health professional.