Have you ever noticed how our mind effortlessly connect random things? This exceptional ability to draw meaning from seemingly unrelated things sets humans apart. Our brains are skilled storytellers, constantly weaving narratives from the world around us.
Intricate stories, shaped by both our genes and environment, form the core of who we think we are.
Putting the puzzle together
The human brain processes sensory inputs to create mental models, like a puzzle, that decode life’s complexities. Our early years provide foundational pieces, shaped by interactions with family and surroundings. School and learning add new pieces, giving structure and depth to how we see things. Culture, societal norms, where we live and what happens to us contribute their unique pieces, influencing how we view relationships, community, and nature. As we move through life, experiences, friendships, and even technology continue to add more pieces to this evolving puzzle, refining and expanding our mental models, shaping how we interpret and make sense of the world.
The stories we tell ourselves
As the human brain weaves intricate stories, it begins to form the core of who we think we are. These narratives govern how we feel, what we do, and even influence who we’re drawn to romantically. Often operating in the background, these stories wield significant power over our emotions. They guide our reactions to events—some emphasize resilience, empowering us in tough times, while others foster feelings of helplessness. Beyond emotions, these narratives also steer our actions and choices, influencing our decisions and subtly aligning us with those who fit the storyline we’ve internalized.
What is Identity?
When people describe themselves, they often touch on various aspects of their identity. In terms of occupation or profession, responses might include, “I’m an architect,” “I work as a teacher,” or “I’m a software developer.” Regarding roles or relationships, one might say, “I’m a loving parent,” “I’m a dedicated friend,” or “I see myself as a supportive sibling.”
Passions and hobbies also play a significant role, with individuals expressing, “I’m an avid painter,” “I’m passionate about playing the guitar,” or “I’m a die-hard soccer fan.” Values and beliefs shape identities too, with statements like, “I believe in equality for all,” “I prioritize honesty and integrity,” or “I’m a strong advocate for environmental conservation.”
Life experiences further define us, as people might share, “I’ve traveled extensively,” “I’ve overcome adversity and consider myself resilient,” or “I’m a survivor of a life-changing event.” Age adds another layer, with individuals saying, “I’m a young professional in my early twenties,” or “I’m an experienced individual in my sixties.”
Gender identity is also crucial, with descriptions such as, “I’m a woman navigating the corporate world,” or “I’m a non-binary individual exploring my identity.” Sexuality can be highlighted with, “I’m a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community,” or “I identify as heterosexual.”
Religion plays a part too, with statements like, “I’m a practicing Muslim,” or “I follow Buddhist principles in my daily life.” Finally, nationality rounds out the picture with declarations such as, “I’m an American with a diverse cultural heritage,” or “I’m an expatriate living in France.”
It’s a diverse question inviting a myriad of answers, each painting a unique picture of an individual’s identity. And almost every answer will reflect something we do, a quality we have, something we believe in, or something we’ve experienced.
Our early experiences paint the initial strokes on the canvas of our identity. These formative years are like an involuntary apprenticeship, shaping our understanding of the world and ourselves without us having a say in the curriculum. Family dynamics, cultural norms, and the environment we grow up in all wield paintbrushes, unconsciously influencing our beliefs, values, and even how we perceive ourselves. Imagine growing up in a bustling metropolis compared to a quiet rural town. These vastly different settings will undoubtedly influence one’s perspective on community, nature, the pace of life, and may even determine what seems right and wrong.
The question then becomes: if a fundamental shift in environment could lead to a completely different identity, doesn’t this suggest our identity lies beneath these external layers, in a deeper, more fundamental place?”
Beyond the layers
Consider how people might describe a book: “It’s made of paper, has a cover and pages, contains words and stories, and can be read.” All of this is important and true, but the simplest answer could be “a source of knowledge or entertainment.” Now, if I asked you who you were, without describing your qualities or the things you do, what would you say?
Who are you, really?
Beyond the simple answer of being Earthlings, the intricacies of our identities seem to essentially be the stories our brains choose to weave. Can you step away from these narratives and tell me who you are ? That would be your exercise for today, write down who you are underneath all the fluff !
This exercise isn’t about describing what you do for a living, what you like to do for fun, or even who you love. It’s about finding the essential you, the real you. To do that, you need to take some time to think about yourself and write down what comes to mind. Happy exploring.