There are four types of parents. These styles may overlap, or one particular style may dominate your relationship with your child.
Authoritative parents – Who have fair expectations from their children, provide adequate warmth and care and are able to communicate with their children rather than command them. Rules are explained and discussed and not merely enforced. Authoritative parenting styles lead to children who are –
- Assertive and confident.
- Happy and content.
- Exhibit lesser metal illness.
Eg. Tony is expected to do his homework every day when Tony throws do not feel like doing his homework one day, his dad comforts him and is able to coax him into getting his work done. He also praises Tony when the homework is done.
Authoritarian parents – Try to take control of their children and have huge expectations for them. These parents do not display adequate nurturance often command rather than communicate. Rules are enforced without explanations. Children of authoritarian parents are –
- Less independent
- Low in self-esteem
- Have poor social skills
- More prone to mental illness
Eg Raja is expected to do his homework every day. It does not matter if Raja does not feel like doing it, Raja’s dad will spank him and make sure the work is done.
Indulgent parenting – They have very low demands and expectations from their children. They are highly nurturing, permissible and lenient. Rules are often broken and/or bent. Communication is biased toward keeping the child comfortable. Criticism is low. Children of indulgent parents
- Cannot cope with the stressors of the external world
- Tend to be self centered
- Have problems with relationships and social interactions
- Cannot follow rules
Eg Rani does not have any rules to follow, her parents shower her with gifts and praise irrespective of what she does. They will cover for her everytime she fails her responsibilities.
Neglectful parenting – Uninvolved parenting wherein there are no expectations, no nurturance and no communication.
Children of neglectful parents –
- Are more impulsive.
- Cannot self-regulate emotion.
- Encounter more delinquency and addictions problems.
- Have more mental issues — e.g. suicidal behaviour in adolescents.
It is your job as a parent to be authoritative and not authoritarian. It is your job as a parent to not be indulgent or neglectful.
There will definitely be times where you want to lash out on your children. There may be times when your children make you want to pull your hair out. We understand that you have challenges and struggles of your own. You need to address these as well.
It is your job as a parent to do what is required to take care of yourself.
To summarize, please be consistently caring to your children. Give it your best to form a solid attachment with your child. Help them deal with failure rather than protecting them from failure. Communicate effectively and be a authoritative parent. If you are going through trouble yourself, please take care of yourself !