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Resilience has been most frequently described as a positive adaptation despite adversity. It is that ability to get up after you get knocked down. Resilience may be interpreted as the ability to keep moving forward irrespective of circumstances, failure or disappointments.

“Resilience is not positive thinking, resilience does not equate to optimism. Resilient people also break down, they also get depressed, they also suffer from anxiety, they also get angry. But they learn to “move on”, they learn to “fight back”, they learn to “get back up”!”

When human beings began treading earth in their sapien form, resilience was requisite! Early man would most definitely die if he wasn’t able to adapt to adversity. Over the last 10,000 years, human beings have begun prioritizing comfort. This need to stay comfortable has grown to a point that may have a negative impact on our ability to deal with life itself.

Short story before begin –

Around 10,000 years ago, humans were just about to discover agriculture. Man was a hunter/gatherer, this meant he had to travel far and wide just to survive. Staying in one place for too long would kill him.

With the advent of agriculture, we also got a sniff of comfort. Though agriculture was still hard work, it did not compare to what he was going through prior to it. Over the next 10 thousand years, advances in technology has rapidly made life “supposedly” easier. The comfort that our ancestors fought so hard for is a given for many of us today. However, the stress that we undergo has somehow compounded !

But How ?

How is comfort making us uncomfortable ?

Our training to face the world (school, parents, family) seems to focus on keeping our young ones comfortable, rather than on preparing them to face the world. Imagine if a tiger had to only go to school and his mother took care of everything else, do you think the tiger would be able to survive on its own in the jungle?

Imagine a whole jungle of these tigers constantly complaining about the deer that are “just too fast”.

A lot of children of the world (me included) have been told and taught that the only thing that I was responsible for was my academics. “It was the parent’s responsibility to get everything else in order”. Our parents would protect us from the world, hoping that we would somehow magically become stronger to deal with it one day. Some parents keep their children so comfortable that some children feel entitled to comfort. They are simply unable to deal with any sort of distress and would rather give up on dreams than take a risk and chase it.

The other end of the spectrum also exists, the utterly useless parent who robs the child of the ability to feel safe or respected. Children who are left to fend for themselves, not knowing where to go or what to do. Some of these children also constantly crave for comfort, as they have been deprived of it all their lives. Thus begins a never-ending cycle of disappointment!

Of course, There are cool parents who are able to teach children to deal with failure and adversity while providing them with the love and care they deserve. This breed of parents and teachers are quickly vanishing as children from the above two paragraphs are becoming parents of today (or not).

Putting it all together –

Some of us feel entitled to comfort like it is our birthright! We constantly complain and are unwilling and unable to stray from our comfort zones to achieve our own goals. We are unable to deal with any kind of disappointment, setback or criticism. We have learnt to blame others for our failures, and are simply unable to take responsibility. Our helplessness is our own doing!

A lack of resilience is one of the primary reasons that human life is so stressful today.

Resilience is a skill and it can be learnt. It may not be a natural part of you, all the crazy things that happened in your past may have prevented resilience from taking shape. However, if you decide to prioritize yourself and let the rest of the world off the hook, even in your weakest moment, you hold enough strength to pull the whole world forward.

Give it a thought, if you learn to adapt to adversity, you become unstoppable !

Resilience will get you everything that your ability, intelligence, circumstances, money, parents, and looks cant!

How we learn to deal with adversity is another story, the intent will find us a suitable way. All the very best, fellow human !